Making Life Work When You Don’t Have It All Together
Have you all noticed I haven’t been posting as much? I’ve shared posts on the blog that are required as a part of this mompreneur life that I live, but I haven’t been my normal self. I suffer from Cluster Headaches, which are much more painful than a migraine, if one could imagine. I have had a debilitating headache everyday for 23 days now. I cope with lots of medication. I prefer for people not to ask questions like if it’s because of my diet, or because I wear glasses, or maybe I have a sinus infection. Cluster Headaches are very rare, and doctors don’t even know much about them. I have been tested, and none of the above is why I have headaches. I don’t talk about them much because this has been apart of my life since I was a child. When they come I figure out how to cope with life, go a little silent and then move on once they have gone back in remission. I’m thankful and grateful that remission lasts for a few years.
So anyway, enough about the pain! I’m here to share how I keep my sh*! together when everything else seems to otherwise be falling apart.
With Help – I have had so much help from my husband! I know it’s been frustrating for him, because he works almost around the clock with a few hours of sleep but he doesn’t complain. My headaches come every morning a few minutes after 8am. I haven’t been able to cook breakfast or dinner most days. He’s been cooking, helping the kids with school work, taking me to the Dr, and running a business. Shout out to my husband for caring for me and being there in sickness and in health! He’s the real MVP!!
With Netflix – Yes, since I haven’t been well Netflix has been babysitting my children. They have watched documentaries, Reading Rainbow, and more LEGO Ninjago than I like. I feel guilty that we haven’t been on the go as much since I’ve been down, but they know once mommy is better we are outta here!
With Dishes in the Sink – My kids know how much I value a clean house. I’m reminding everyone all day that there is something to be cleaned. But when I’m not well, if my husband cooks, he’s stacking all of the dishes and leaving them there. That’s okay, they get washed eventually and we live.
Making the Most of the Time When I Feel Well – It’s nothing like not being able to accomplish anything, to show you just how much you can get done with a little bit of time. When I don’t have a headache, which is usually during the night, I accomplish as much as I can. I clean my house, do laundry, and write blog posts. It makes me really value my time and how it’s spent.
Only my close family and friends are aware that I’ve been in pain for a few weeks. I decided to share here after talking with a friend who suggested that someone could probably relate. Maybe not relate to the pain, because Cluster Headaches only affect 1 in 1000 people. But I’m hoping you all can relate to when you aren’t 100 and can’t give your all, how you maintain life and keep your family functioning.
I’m just so grateful I don’t look like what I’ve been through!
31 comments
Erin Martin
October 1, 2015 at 8:39 amBe well Ashley. Continued blessings …And yes, sometimes the dishes just have to linger a little longer …
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 2:59 amYep! Thanks, Erin 🙂
Sherelle
October 1, 2015 at 9:55 amI pray you feel back to your normal self soon! I can relate to letting the hubby step in when I’m not feeling %100. Thanks for sharing.
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 2:59 amThanks, Sherelle! This turned out to be a pretty good day for me 🙂
Nikki
October 1, 2015 at 10:35 amThanks so much for sharing. Praying for your healing….
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:00 amThank you! I appreciate it!!
Lashawn
October 1, 2015 at 10:39 amI hope you feel better soon! I suffer from
Migraines about once a month and it takes me completely out so I can’t even comprehend having headaches for 23 days straight! You are the real MVP! Thsnks for sharing!
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:00 amThanks, Lashawn! Today was actually a good day for me 🙂
Tanay
October 1, 2015 at 10:42 am“I don’t look like what I’ve been though”
Yessss! I pray you feel yourself again soon. And sometimes it’s ok to take a break 😉
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:01 amThanks, Tanay! Breaks are definitely necessary.
Britney
October 1, 2015 at 10:50 amI can relate, kind of. I have IBS and it can get really bad, about once a month or so, symptoms lasting for up to two weeks. Anyways! Ashley, you’re such an inspiration to me! Not even just in the blogging and business realm, but mainly as a parent! I’m sure I’m not the only mommy here who appreciates your transparency! Get better soon! 🙂
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:02 amThank you, Britney!
Danielle S
October 1, 2015 at 11:41 amThank you for sharing! I don’t have cluster headaches, but I do get migraines and suffer from depression, which makes it really hard to work some days. While they’re not the same, it’s good to know that I’m not the only one falling apart behind the scenes when I need to have it all together.
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:03 amThanks for reading, Danielle! Life happens and we have to roll with the punches.
Alisha
October 1, 2015 at 12:02 pmAshley I hope you feel better soon! I suffer from depression and there are days I just want to crawl into a hole and be left alone so I totally understand how sometimes it’s hard to keep it all together. Thank you for sharing and I hope you get relief soon! <3
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:04 amThanks, Alisha! I hope your day got better 🙂
Vashti (veepeejay.com)
October 1, 2015 at 1:06 pmThanks for sharing your story Ashley. I feel like the world is coming to an end when I get a migraine so I can just imagine what you feel. I was told that I had mild cluster headaches a few years ago and I remember being in pain for about a week, and then it went away. Obviously it’s nothing compared to what you’re going through. Praying for you complete healing. Love you girl <3
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:05 amI remember you telling me about your headaches. I appreciate your prayer, Vee! Love you too! xoxoxo
Georgia Cook
October 1, 2015 at 2:17 pmYou are a amazing woman I love you as my daughter so proud of you God send your husband and kid as your angels
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:06 amThank you mama, Georgia! My family has truly been a blessing to me.
Osunkoya
October 1, 2015 at 3:58 pmWilling you can see the light at the end of the tunnel with the pain sis. Mom guilt is real and when I’m down for the count, I will not so gladly give in to Netflix binges for the little people too. When you are on point most of the time I think it’s okay to make it a Netflix day.
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:07 amIt’ been a Netflix month! Lol. I had a good day today, so I hope I’m near the end 🙂
Jheanell
October 1, 2015 at 5:17 pmI’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know the mom guilt is hard but you’re doing the absolute best that you can. Mommy has to take care of herself and be well in our to take care of the Little ones. I can’t relate to the headaches but I do struggle with depression and when I have a bad spell I mentally check out for a few days, which makes me feel bad but I do the best that I can, and help and Netflix certainly help me during those times as well. We’re here with you mama. Get well soon 🙂
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:08 amThanks, Jheanell! This just brings to light how important self care is.
Sheena
October 1, 2015 at 9:43 pmGoodness, woman! I cannot imagine your struggle. I hope you get some relief soon and for many many years to come. Tablets are the homies in my house and hubby helps out with a lot of typical “mommy duties” whether I’m mentally bogged down or just plain overwhelmed… both of which I’ve been for a while, but I don’t sweat in public. It’s emotionally draining, but one of these days in 2016, we’ll be settled in a home and it’d totally be worth the hustle. Thanks for keepin’ it real. 🙂
Ashley
October 2, 2015 at 3:10 amI had a good day today 🙂 It’s definitely hard as bloggers for us to share the up’s and down’s. People think we are supposed to always be up. Not the case. Thanks for reading, Sheena!
Katherine G
October 2, 2015 at 8:04 amThank you for sharing your story. I hope you are feeling better. Having a support system is the greatest. Sometimes Netflix is the best babysitter. Having dishes in the sink irks me but sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do. I love this article.
Renae
October 2, 2015 at 10:13 amThanks for sharing what you are going through..and aren’t we all glad that we don’t look like what we’ve been through, I know I am. I can only imagine being in such pain and still having to try your best to carry on and run your household. Thankfully you have your husband who is helping you during this time, but I know nothing beats mom/wife doing things and getting things done no one can seem to do it like us. But, hopefully you’ve realized that it is ok to let “things” go and that life still carries on.
Praying you get better soon!
Fantasia
October 2, 2015 at 11:06 amThanks for sharing!! Although many of us can’t relate to the pain that you’re going through, we all beat ourselves up about certain things that we can’t control. I know your transparency has helped someone feel better about themselves 🙂 Keep pushing, you’re an awesome mom, wife, and blogger!
cia.co.il
October 21, 2015 at 3:25 amExcellent, what a weblog it is! This weblog provides valuable information to us, keep it up.
eternitysojourner
October 28, 2015 at 1:24 amSalaam, sis! Sorry to hear about this chronic struggle of yours. Have you ever considered alternative medicine like homeopathy or chiropracty? It’s worth a try. Please take care of yourself, busy mama! 🙂